Dave gently vibrates his goalie rod. It looks like his netminder is having a seizure. It’s illegal. It’s dishonorable. It blocks 100% of my breakaways.
But here’s the thing—he hits the edge of the puck. The little red disc launches not toward my goal, but table hockey hijinks
The red light flashes. The obnoxious buzzer sounds like a dying robot seagull. Dave gently vibrates his goalie rod
So dust off your dome table. Find your most competitive friend. And remember: the goalie is always cheating, the red team is always faster, and if the puck goes behind the fridge, you have to use a spatula to get it out. It’s dishonorable
This is where the hijinks begin. Dave knows my defensive strategy is "flail wildly." So, as he winds up for a slapshot, he deploys his secret weapon: