The Stepmom of the Year does not love out of biological imperative. She loves out of choice. And a choice, made daily, in the face of rejection, exhaustion, and societal suspicion, is the strongest kind of love there is. So here is to the stepmothers: the unsung architects of broken families made whole. You do not need a sash or a scepter. You need a glass of wine and a quiet house. But for the record—you win.

The Stepmom of the Year does not win a popularity contest. Often, she is the most disliked person in the room. The children may not thank her until they are thirty and have children of their own. The ex-wife may never acknowledge her contributions. Her husband, exhausted from his own guilt, may forget to say “thank you.”

What are the specific qualities that define the Stepmom of the Year?