Skip to main content

[cracked] - Neymar Hairstyle 2016

This was the most aerodynamic Neymar yet. He was faster, leaner, and more efficient. In September, he scored a bicycle kick against Leganés. In October, he assisted Messi in the dying seconds to beat Valencia. The golden fringe flopped as he ran, a little flag of victory. For those months, Neymar was untouchable. The hair was a trophy. The hair was a promise.

The world took notice. Teenagers from Tokyo to Toronto started asking barbers for “the Neymar undercut.” However, this look had a tragic expiration date. In the Champions League quarter-final against Atlético Madrid, Barcelona crashed out. After the final whistle, Neymar sat on the turf, his man-bun sagging, his face buried in his hands. The warrior had fallen. By June, as Brazil prepared for the Copa América Centenario in the United States, Neymar knew he needed a transformation. He needed to shed the skin of failure. neymar hairstyle 2016

As 2016 limped to its end, Neymar returned to a variation of his roots. The golden fringe was shaved off. The sides were faded to a zero. The top was a natural, jet-black, short crop. It was almost… normal. Almost boring. The football world breathed a collective sigh of relief. He’s finally settling down, they thought. He’s maturing. This was the most aerodynamic Neymar yet

The year was 2016. The world was still spinning to the beat of “Sorry” by Justin Bieber, Pokémon GO had turned pedestrians into zombies, and the Brazilian football galaxy revolved around one man: Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior. But in that year, he was not just famous for his rainbow flicks, his sombrero dribbles, or his telepathic connection with Lionel Messi and Luis Suárez at FC Barcelona. No, in 2016, Neymar’s hair had become a secondary protagonist—a living, breathing, bleaching, fading, and shaving entity that captured the world’s attention almost as much as his goals. In October, he assisted Messi in the dying

But Neymar didn’t care. He wore that red hair like a badge of audacity. He stepped onto the pitch for Brazil’s friendly against Panama and scored a goal in the first five minutes. He pointed to his head as if to say, “The color is the source of the power.”