India’s Only Honest Newspaper Issue #4,209 | Price: ₹12 (Negotiable if you have a sad face) COVER STORY “IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID… BUT PLEASE DON’T ASK FOR DETAILS” By Gyanu the Intern (who is still waiting for his stipend from 2019)

In a stunning move that surprised absolutely no one, the government announced a new economic roadmap this week. The roadmap, hand-drawn on a napkin from a five-star hotel, promises to make India a $50 trillion economy by the time your grandchildren retire.

The spiritual meaning is “hypocrisy,” my son. It is the glue that holds all Indian marriages together. Buy her flowers. Then hide the phone in the freezer.

(Editor’s Note: See? Nothing changes. Jab is timeless. Now give us our ₹12.) We close when you stop laughing. So please, keep laughing.