I always had a crush on him. To write that sentence now, in the past tense, feels like a small betrayal—not of him, but of the girl I used to be. Because a crush, when held for that long, stops being a simple feeling. It becomes a landscape. It becomes the furniture of your youth.
For me, he was not a storm. He was not the lightning bolt of romance you see in films. He was, instead, the weather of every ordinary day. I always had a crush on him the way you always have a favorite song hidden in a playlist you never shuffle. He was my constant, quiet variable. i always had a crush on him ana rose
Now, I look back and I am not sad. I am grateful. He taught me the shape of my own heart before I was brave enough to let anyone else hold it. He was never my boyfriend, never my lover, never even my "almost." He was just the boy who taught me how to feel deeply in silence. And for that, I will always carry a piece of him with me—not as a crush, but as a cornerstone. I always had a crush on him